Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize