I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
