You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
