before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize