Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
