is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Your dad touched me again.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
