Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
