Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
