Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
