Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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