I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
