Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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