Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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