They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
