you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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