You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
