it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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