Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
