I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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