she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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