in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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