I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
