I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
