im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
