Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
