Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
