Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
