How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
