Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
