i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
