do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
