Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
