Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
