thus making me awesome and them whores
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
