Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
