ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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