and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
