Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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