i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize