So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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