he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
