STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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