I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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