I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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