I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize