You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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