is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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