i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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