Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
