He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize