I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize