well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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