Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
