i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i drank out of a bidet.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize