They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
