i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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