I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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