We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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