I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
