My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize