i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
