you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
