You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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