Nicole vs. Life
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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