goodnight i made you a song goodbye
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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