He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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