I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
worst night to have a conscience
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize