Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
